what a year this has been!

This year was a busy one for us.  We moved three times: once while I was pregnant, once while I was in the hospital, waiting to be told I'd have to be induced a month and a bit early due to preeclampsia, and lastly in November, to our home in Modesto.  Josh has had four jobs while I managed to do one this summer.  We attended 2 weddings, one for my Dad, Norm, and his new bride Carrie, and one for my brother-in-law and his lovely bride Michelle.  Josh and I celebrated our 2nd anniversary, and have driven countless hours for road trips to visit family and friends in Montana, Minnesota and B.C.  

We have experienced months of not knowing how we were going to pay bills, and have known the faithfulness of God as He took care of our needs each time.  We have felt the love and support of all our families and have grown in that knowledge.  Josh and I, as a couple have experienced the highs and lows of marriage and parenthood, and as individuals. 

Looking back I see a lot of grace and many blessings.  Grace from God, grace from our families and friends and grace from each other.  There have been many blessings this year, but my biggest blessing other than my husband, (who I love more today than when I married him) is our beautiful daughter.  She is my joy.  We both love and adore her to pieces.  I love watching her learn new things everyday, and seeing the world through her eyes.  She brings both Josh and I to reality and has made us grow up, even when we haven't wanted to.  And although I like to blame her for my "mama curves" I would do this year all over again, and I wouldn't change a thing.  

Except maybe I wouldn't have eaten so much chocolate.   

   

oh the memories we make

   

 Christmas evening at Nana and Gramps'

 heading out for her first sledding experience

 what a snow babe!

 family time

my little beauty

This was a wonderful Christmas.  Although I missed my family dearly, I was happy to spend it with my "newer" family.  My in-laws were so precious to watch interacting with Briella, and it was great to catch up with Dave and my new sister-in-law Michelle.  Visiting was done with friends- some we hadn't seen in two years; laughter was plentiful, jokes were had and delicious food was eaten.  

And in this time of rejoicing and thinking about the upcoming year, Josh's Granddad, George Wolfe, passed away.  Although we grieve our loss, and Grandmother's loss (she has now been widowed twice), we comfort ourselves knowing that he is with our Lord and Saviour, in a place where the cancer that had invaded his body, can never hurt him again.  He will always be in our memories, waiting for us to join him in worshiping our Lord for eternity.

Ooops!

In my zest to involve Bee in Christmas gifts this year I may have (definitely) tinted her little palms a purpley-grey.  The ink pad did advertise "easy cleanup", but I'm not sold on it anymore.  Poor Bee, she's going to have stained hands for her first Christmas!

Ok, ok....confession time:  there's a HUGE part of me that thinks this is hilarious, and only a little part of me that feels sorry for her.  Not so much that I stained her hands, but that this probably won't be the last time I do something with/to her that may not wash off right away.  The childhood scarring continues.  

Level 35: No More Privacy = Check

Today a new level of motherhood was reached.  I usually don't close the washroom door when it's just me and Bee at home, since she freaks out when she can't have immediate access (even if she refuses to play with me, she MUST have immediate access- please pray with me that this is just a phase) and so far she's been far more interested in banging her hands on the inside of the tub to even notice me sitting on the toilet.  All of that changed this afternoon.  

We have two washrooms, and I had thought I had closed the door to our master bedroom and so in my hurry, didn't close our washroom door all the way.  I was sitting down when Bee crawled in, and in my astonishment, did my best to be modest and did not make eye contact (trying to save on those future therapy sessions) yet her eyes did not light up in anticipated joy of banging her little hands on the tub.  Instead she looked curiously at me, hunched over (trying to be invisible, you know, so that she won't be scarred by the sight of her mother on the can) and she pulled herself up on my knees!  I was so surprised that I couldn't speak.  Josh came looking to see where Bee had escaped to, and found her squawking at my knees, trying to climb onto my lap while I dumbly tried to block her.  I managed to choke out "help, please", and like a good husband he laughed hysterically and managed to pluck her little fingers from my jeans.  I'm no longer shocked by this new level of motherhood that was achieved by my daughter's curiosity, but you can bet your bottom dollar that I'll be sure to close the door all the way the next time I need to use the washroom!    

Getting Ready for Christmas

Our home is busy busy busy these days.  Josh has a four day weekend and I've been determined to use his presence in the house to his full extent.  Mainly for Bee control.  I've needed Josh to entertain Bee so that she'll keep her sticky little fingers out of the oven, the wrapping paper, the toilet, and away from electrical outlets.  Today is day 3 of 4 and these past two days I've gotten quite a bit accomplished: 2 different cookies (double batch each) baked, one waiting to be iced, baked meat buns (fleisch perishky) for our upcoming road-trip, made some christmas hot cocoa mixes, bought and wrapped presents, finally hung some pictures, organized my huge pantry, and sorted the laundry for today.  Plus, the hubby and I have spent some much needed family time with Bee. 

Good Ole Fashion Hot Cocoa

 "Do I really have to wait?"

Delicious meat buns!  Obviously we had to try them first!

Between today and tomorrow all that's left is baking some peppernuts, laundry, organizing Bee's bedroom, and buying those last few Christmas gifts.  Oh! And more family time, the most important part of these four days!

Gift opening is going to be so FUN with her!

Where's the SCARY?

I was desperate to get some Christmas baking done without Bee being underfoot and (my greatest fear in the kitchen) reaching into the hot oven so I put her in her playpen with some toys and after her LOUDLY protesting the close quarters, put the TV on to "BabyTV, baby's first TV". She ignored it most of the time, but it served as a distraction when she would demand to be picked up. The "episode" that was playing was called "Baby's First Tales", which were basically the classic stories retold for a "younger generation", aka babies. Now, the TV station must have been worried about concerned parents storming in, worried that their child was going to be scarred for life with the normal classics so THEY CHANGED THE ENTIRE STORY! Goldilocks and the Three Bears had been retold so that Goldilocks was INVITED over, she made them lunch, told them a story in their perfectly fitting chairs, brought them brand new fluffy pillows for their nap time, and ended with them being BFFs. Where was the naughty Goldilocks we grew up with? What happened to the broken chair, the devoured porridge, the slept in bed, and the angry bears?

What happened to our old storybooks, to scaring your children into obedience with stories? Little Red Riding Hood taught us to follow our parental's guidance or we'd be eaten by a bad wolf, Hansel and Gretal taught us the dangers of eating too much candy, Beauty and the Beast taught us that it's inside beauty that counts, and Cinderella taught us that kindness will outlast cruelty. Of course, there are many other "lessons" that these stories taught, and still teach, but the main similarity that I've noticed is that the original stories were not fluffy or light. The authors didn't try to keep the "scary" out, instead they used the "scary" to teach morals and societal behaviours.

Now that Bee is REALLY into books, and not just interested in using them as chewing surface, I've started to pay attention to what her stories are. Most of them are just word books, but some have plots and its caused me to compare what I read as a child to what she's being read to now. My favourite of her books is called Waddle! and it happens to be a scanimation book. Bee loves how the pictures move and the black and white movement catches her delight each time. The story asks the child if he/she can move like each different animal and ends with: If you can waddle, stomp or hop, leap or flap or prance around...if you can scamper like a bear or slither on the ground...you'd better RUN! The alligator's GONNA GETCHA! and the picture is of an alligator's snapping mouth. She loves as I tickle her at the end and reaches for the beginning again.

There's a part of me that delights in books like this, books that leave some scary in. Sometimes I wonder if that's a part of me that I should be worried about, but most of the time I'm young enough that I think that part is funny. Do I want Bee to be a little girl scared that an alligator's going to catch her? No. Do I want her to know that there are bad things out there? In time, yes.
Future authors, please take note: I'm putting in my request now! In reference to the original classic fairytales and today's fairytales, I want a medium. Not so many graphic details but still some hope, and for those with a softer soul, lets keep those rainbows.

spoiled baby+spoiled parents

Bee had some visitors this past weekend: Grandma and Grandpa Daher!


And they came bearing gifts! They were too excited about the toys they brought that Bee got to open their gifts BEFORE Christmas. Which taught Josh and I a very helpful lesson: Gifts before bed= a very wired baby who only wants to play when you only want to sleep. So, Christmas gifts are going to be drawn out this year!

We went to the Oakland Zoo, where Bee was fascinated by the elephants, we admired the giraffes and tigers, Josh pretended to be a turtle, and I saw an alligator that I thought was fake. Turned out, it wasn't. We went back that night to see all the Christmas lights and it was magical!

The next day we went to San Francisco and were delighted with Chinatown and lots of stores. Next time, we'll bring the smaller stroller! Sadly we forgot to bring our camera, so believe me when I tell you, San Francisco is a wonderful place to explore and find treasures in. We will most definitely be going back, there is just too much to see all in one day.

We were sad to see Dad and Carrie leave, especially Bee, who grunted and refused to go to bed that night! HAHA. I think they must have made an impression with her, because these last two days have been grumpy, cranky days where she could only be thinking: "Grandma and Grandpa left me with these two people? Where are my fans? Why am I not being doted on every second?"
Thanks for visiting and spoiling the three of us! We love you!

mystery girl

I absolutely love my daughter. I'm fascinated by her, inspired by her, study her, and yet she's a mystery. Sure, I can usually tell you what her day will look like: how many times she'll try to yank the cords from the electrical outlets (3-4), how many times she's crawl away when I change her diaper(every time), how often she'll shriek her outrage(quite often), and how often she'll smile at me like I'm her most favourite person in the world (as long as Daddy isn't around). But I can't tell you what kind of a lady she's going to grow up to be. I pray that her friendly personality grows and persists throughout the years, but I can't guarantee it. I can pray that she'll have confidence in herself and pride in the jobs she accomplishes. I can pray that she'll be an encourager and be kind to others. To be compassionate and loving, to be a servant of Christ.

I see her now, precious, beautiful, innocent and naive, and I'm scared that I'll teach her the wrong things or that I won't stress enough about the important aspects of life. There are so many things that I want to teach her, but how much can you really teach with words? And how much will she learn by my actions, and Josh's actions? Will she learn to excel in the areas that we struggle in?

All I know is that there is only so much we can do. Thankfully, there's a Father in heaven who is the perfect teacher, and who loves her even more than we do. Thank you God!

Projects and more projects!

The last couple of days I've been scouring the internet for crafty Christmas ideas that are better for our wallets but still "nice". (I think we've all been the recipients of thoughtful, but oh so "not nice" homemade gifts before. You know the kind...where you smile and say thank you, but feel all guilty inside because you actually think its super ugly.) And while I haven't found too many ideas that someone with my skill level could accomplish, without it looking like a 5 year created it, I've been inspired. So out came my knitting needles, croquet hooks, and yarn. And my notepad, because there are soooo many awesome ideas for re-purposing out there, that I cannot remember them all. The danger in this new phase is that I have the potential to become a hoarder. Ugh, the idea makes me cringe, so maybe I'm not in such a state of potential disaster, BUT if I appear in an episode of Hoarders: Buried Alive......I CALLED IT!

Things I have accomplished since my online search frenzy began:
1. Bee's slippers. I bought the pattern when I was pregnant. Only took me a year...
2. I've started a little neck gater for Bee so she won't freeze when we visit YNP.
3. I've found some ideas for baby food jars that I'm really excited to start.
4. I drove Josh and Bee bonkers yesterday while taking my sweet time to find just the right yarn to use for a project.

All in all, I'm feeling good about the projects I've decided on doing and am pretty sure I'll finish them all. But if you are the recipient of a homemade gift from me that you really think is ugly, please, do not feel obligated to have it "around" the next time I see you. I promise I won't hold it against you. Except for Josh, because he has to LOVE everything I make.

Princess Bee

We went to the local Christmas Market in Modesto this afternoon, and let me tell you. It may not have been huge but it was lovely. There was the McHenry Mansion -a fantastic step back to 1883, food venders, homemade ware merchants, farmers, lots of friendly people and Bee's favourite: adoring fans. At each stand there were people who exclaimed that Bee was the prettiest baby they'd ever seen, and yes, I'm sure they just wanted me to buy their products, but it made our day! Princess Bee was in her element, smiling and waving at all her fans, jibbering and drooling accordingly.

During the Christmas Parade later, she was dancing and shrieking in joy. But that only lasted for a while. Soon she was screeching and jerking her body around, as if she WANTED us to drop her. Sadly we were not able to finish the parade, but what we were able to see, we liked. Three hours later, she's bathed and sleeping. Nothing beats the smell of a freshly bathed baby, all sleepy and cuddly.

Josh had his last day shift yesterday, and starts his swing shift tomorrow, 3pm-11pm. It'll be nice to have him home all morning!

You can tell its evening at the Young household. The dishwasher is running, the kitchen is clean, Bee is talking in her sleep, and us adults are relaxing. The Christmas lights are on, and I'm about to make a cup of decaf earl grey, my absolute favourite evening drink. It's been a great day!

birthday, smirsday

For me, my birthdays are bittersweet. I tend to romanticize past events and when I do look at them realistically I often feel let down or depressed. I have had some amazing birthdays growing up, but that wasn't always the case. One of my childhood birthdays was purposely ignored to teach me a lesson and ever since then I've had this almost unconscious and unrealistic fear that it will happen again. Now, I'm not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. I just need to write out these melancholy feelings.

I think because of this missed birthday, I make a big deal about Josh's birthday, and I know I'll make a big deal out of Briella's birthdays. This year because we were in the middle of moving and didn't have the funds, I didn't even bake Josh a birthday cake. Now, he did get a dinner made by our wonderful family friends and family, but I didn't do any of it. I have felt guilty for the past month and have tried to make it up by being an extra good wife. But all that did was make me mad. HA! I finally told Josh how guilty I felt and he was surprised but so understanding. He wasn't bothered by it even though I had been tearing myself up on the inside about the whole situation. And even though I still feel a bit guilty, I have to keep reminding myself that there's nothing to be guilty about.

Since I moved out on my own I've tried to be realistic about birthdays. But that has always made me pessimistic and grumpy. I hate being grumpy. So this year, I had a talk with myself and really prayed about how I've let my past ruin my last few birthdays and my mood.

I don't think I was completely successful in trying to change my attitude, but this morning when I woke up and remembered it was my birthday, I smiled and thanked God for giving me 24 years to be thankful about and prayed for another 24 good years.

I also dressed Bee in a party dress to make the day a bit more festive!

hey mom, there's a tree in the living room

We bought a tree today. Sadly it was fake, but it fits our apartment nicely and our budget. Target people. Target has AMAZING deals on trees, lights, ornaments, etc. It was nice to walk around and see Bee's eyes light up in amazement to see all the lights and sounds that come with the Christmas season. Once she went down for a nap we set the tree up. We had hoped to have the whole tree done and ready by the time she woke up, but it was one of those really short nap days, so the lights and about 8 ornaments were done. But she was amazed! She loved the lights and all the pretty decorations, but was not too sure of the tree itself. She was crawling around the base and the branches brushed against her head and you'd of thought the tree hit her, she was so upset. Oh well, at least we don't need to worry about her yanking the whole thing over!

Last year, some of Josh's coworkers gave us a hideously bright pink pair of singing flamingos. Josh and I thought it would be cute to show Bee how they swayed and sang. She loved it as long as Josh was holding her. She wasn't so brave once we put her on the ground beside it to take some pictures! She cried, crawled straight into Josh's lap and clung to him for her dear little life! We must be bad parents, because instead of flying to her rescue like normal parents, we laughed and tried unsuccessfully to document it. And I figured out I had the perfect cure for trying to teach Bee not to touch the TV. I put the flamingos on the TV stand and although she glares at it, she won't touch the TV because of the hideous birds! HAHA
mmmm..Santa looks good!


and he tastes good too!

cutiepatootie

I went in to check on her before I headed to bed, and I guess she was really tuckered out from Thanksgiving!

count your blessings, name them one by one

I won't do that here as that list is pretty long...HAHA! What I will do is show you what I am most thankful for this American Thanksgiving.



I am so thankful for Josh and Briella. They are gifts from God, and I most definitely prayed for them both as I was growing up. I know I have many other blessings to be thankful for: family, a home, friends, etc, but I just wanted to highlight these two guys! I love you both and thank God for you everyday!

so fine!

I haven't felt this attractive since I got pregnant! Why? Because this mama tried on her pre-pregnancy jeans AND zipped them up! Oh yeah baby! Are they tight? Yeah, but I can walk around in them and they don't give me massive muffintops...so in my books, they fit again! Will I wear them in public....maybe after I lose another 5-10 pounds! Just knowing that I can squeeze back into them has given me hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll get my weight under control. Victory for this mama!

How much is postage to Timbuktu?

Today is one of those days. One of the many days I imagine I will have as a mom. Today, I'd like to ship Bee off to Timbuktu. How could I feel this way about my baby? Let me tell you.

First it started with Briella not going to bed until 1am. Then she got up at 4 and wanted to play. It took half an hour of me going back to her room and laying her back down and giving her a bottle before she started to show signs of being sleepy. Then, at 6:30am she is ready to start her day. I get up, put a few toys in her crib and give her a new bottle, thinking MAYBE, just maybe she'll play for half an hour and let me sleep. Not a chance. She starts up immediately screaming and wailing away like I left her for good and she'll never see me again. She doesn't even give the bottle or toys a chance. Now, my first instinct was to just let her cry it out for a little as she is fairly dramatic (geez, I wonder where she gets that?), but our walls are pretty thin for an apartment and I didn't want our new neighbours to think I was hurting her. So I got up, plucked her out of her dreadful crib and put her in front of her toys in the living room, and sat on the couch, trying to wake up. Instead of her being happy, she was miserable. So I sat beside her, seeing if it was just me being near her that would make her happy. It did not. UGH. At this point I'm pissed. Then it dawns on me to change her diaper. Yeah, I know...rookie move lady. She's miserable and wiggly and I'm tired and groggy. Not a good combo for a very messy diaper, so there was that nice added element to my glorious morning. Now this amount of sleep I can normally deal with. But the night before I just couldn't sleep and that night resulted in a four hour rest instead of a night of rest. LAME. Both nights together is proving to be a bit much today.

Breakfast: the normal oatmeal and fruit. She spit her food out at me! This was the first time she's ever done this! I was so stunned. Luckily for both of us, even though I was thoroughly pissed, I was too tired to even make a deal of it. So I finished feeding her and let her play while I lay down on the couch and tried to calm down.

Suddenly I realize she's in the kitchen and very quiet. What did I find when I walked in? Briella, with opened dirty diapers and garbage surrounding her while she was reaching into the garbage bag for some more spoils of war. DISGUSTING! She got a bath pronto while I tried to not imagine how much of the junk got in her mouth. Luckily the bath tired her out and she went for a nap. I cleaned up the mess, and went to sleep as well.

An hour later I wake up, feeling much better about the day and seeing the humor in it. And then I start thinking and wondering, "how do moms do this with MULTIPLE children"??? Please veteran moms, impart your wisdom as I will need it all!

And to think, I once wanted 10 children. yeah right




picture cred:
http://www.nicephotomag.com/the-latest/weekend-inspiration-%E2%80%93-uniform

CribTime

Just some photos to show you the hilariousness Briella is. The first is her sucking on her glowy light and the second is of her using her crib as a teething ring. And as I'm writing this she is sleeping with her butt sticking straight in the air, and I'd take a picture to show you all but I don't want her to wake up. Ahhh, the joys of parenthood. We are so incredibly blessed with this little girl we call Bee.

just like a puppy, only cuter

This girl loves to be naked. And loves her bathtime! All day she had been crawling into the bathroom trying to climb into the tub so I figured a bath before bed would be a perfect way to end the day. She was so excited to see the water running and to be free of her clothes, that she did a little dance in front of the tub and promptly peed on the mat. I love my daughter!

dirty dishes or dirty diapers

Lately when Bee is in her crib and doesn't want to sleep she sucks on her glowy light that's attached to the top rail of her crib. She has to stand up to do this and just barely makes it. So last Friday when we put her down for a nap and we didn't hear the usual protestations Josh bet me that if we walked in she would be standing up sucking on the glowy light. Now I normally don't bet anything because I always seem to lose. The bet was: if he was right, then I had to change all poopy diapers for the next week. If he lost then he had to wash all the dishes for the next week. So I made the bet, and we walked in. She WAS standing, but NOT sucking on the light....SO I WON!

And since he has had to wash the dishes all week, my question is: Why is my kitchen still covered with dirty dishes?

California Folks

Now that we are finally living in a place where we can set up our computer, hopefully I'll update this more often! The last time I updated this, Bee was only 5 pounds. She is now 10 pounds heavier. I know, I know, only 10 pounds? you may be thinking. Although she is quite tiny for almost 9 months, she has no problem getting around and into things she's not supposed to be in. Like the toilet. Or pulling out half a box of diaper wipes. Or waving around Josh's underwear like a flag on Canada Day.

Also, we were still living in Montana, renting from our wonderful friends and landlords, the Millers. Now, the apartment was beautiful, seriously beautiful, but really only made to fit a couple or a single renter. Not a family of three with a ton of baby stuff. But the Millers were so kind to bless us with their cozy little apartment that it was very easy to ignore how crowded it really was with Bee's stuff. To give you an example of how small it was: Bee's room was our closet, and to make room for her swing and later exersaucer, we stored the barstools to the "table" and ate all our meals on the couch. We were just so happy that it didn't really matter until Bee started crawling. Then everything was within her reach and made for a long day of removing things from her sticky fingers. We were able to leave the place almost as we left it. Bee left her mark with a nice throw up stain on the wall.

Now, Josh has a fancy job working for the Department of Defense, where he does, in his own words, "nothing". He's dispatching for the Defense Logistics Agency in Tracy, CA, and we live in Ceres. Which is just outside of Modesto.

So far we like it here. God blessed us with leading us to our new apartment, which is the biggest place we've ever lived in (2 bed, 2 bath), and we live minutes away from the hwy and major shopping stores. The weather is so nice and our apartment is filled with natural light. Bee is loving the space she has to explore, although she's not adjusting to us not being in her line of sight all the time very well. The team that works here has been so nice to us. They saw that we had a baby and switched us to a different apartment that had brand new carpet and lino, "because its better for the baby" and in a better spot for laundry, the pool and the tot lot. We are looking forward to meeting our neighbours and exploring the surrounding areas. San Francisco is on the top of that list!

Well, its been a month since we became parents to Briella. So much has changed in such a short time.

1. We live off about 2 hours of sleep at a time

2. We get excited over Briella gaining weight

3. We have a running tally of diapers gone wrong

4. Girls no longer are outnumbered in the Young family

5. Grocery shopping now includes a baby, which means I have to remember I have a baby while shopping.

6. Our world now revolves around this little 5 pound baby girl!

Being parents has changed how we view life and changed our priorities and although it feels like everything has changed, we couldn't imagine our lives without her!