birthday, smirsday

For me, my birthdays are bittersweet. I tend to romanticize past events and when I do look at them realistically I often feel let down or depressed. I have had some amazing birthdays growing up, but that wasn't always the case. One of my childhood birthdays was purposely ignored to teach me a lesson and ever since then I've had this almost unconscious and unrealistic fear that it will happen again. Now, I'm not looking for sympathy or anything of the sort. I just need to write out these melancholy feelings.

I think because of this missed birthday, I make a big deal about Josh's birthday, and I know I'll make a big deal out of Briella's birthdays. This year because we were in the middle of moving and didn't have the funds, I didn't even bake Josh a birthday cake. Now, he did get a dinner made by our wonderful family friends and family, but I didn't do any of it. I have felt guilty for the past month and have tried to make it up by being an extra good wife. But all that did was make me mad. HA! I finally told Josh how guilty I felt and he was surprised but so understanding. He wasn't bothered by it even though I had been tearing myself up on the inside about the whole situation. And even though I still feel a bit guilty, I have to keep reminding myself that there's nothing to be guilty about.

Since I moved out on my own I've tried to be realistic about birthdays. But that has always made me pessimistic and grumpy. I hate being grumpy. So this year, I had a talk with myself and really prayed about how I've let my past ruin my last few birthdays and my mood.

I don't think I was completely successful in trying to change my attitude, but this morning when I woke up and remembered it was my birthday, I smiled and thanked God for giving me 24 years to be thankful about and prayed for another 24 good years.

I also dressed Bee in a party dress to make the day a bit more festive!

hey mom, there's a tree in the living room

We bought a tree today. Sadly it was fake, but it fits our apartment nicely and our budget. Target people. Target has AMAZING deals on trees, lights, ornaments, etc. It was nice to walk around and see Bee's eyes light up in amazement to see all the lights and sounds that come with the Christmas season. Once she went down for a nap we set the tree up. We had hoped to have the whole tree done and ready by the time she woke up, but it was one of those really short nap days, so the lights and about 8 ornaments were done. But she was amazed! She loved the lights and all the pretty decorations, but was not too sure of the tree itself. She was crawling around the base and the branches brushed against her head and you'd of thought the tree hit her, she was so upset. Oh well, at least we don't need to worry about her yanking the whole thing over!

Last year, some of Josh's coworkers gave us a hideously bright pink pair of singing flamingos. Josh and I thought it would be cute to show Bee how they swayed and sang. She loved it as long as Josh was holding her. She wasn't so brave once we put her on the ground beside it to take some pictures! She cried, crawled straight into Josh's lap and clung to him for her dear little life! We must be bad parents, because instead of flying to her rescue like normal parents, we laughed and tried unsuccessfully to document it. And I figured out I had the perfect cure for trying to teach Bee not to touch the TV. I put the flamingos on the TV stand and although she glares at it, she won't touch the TV because of the hideous birds! HAHA
mmmm..Santa looks good!


and he tastes good too!

cutiepatootie

I went in to check on her before I headed to bed, and I guess she was really tuckered out from Thanksgiving!

count your blessings, name them one by one

I won't do that here as that list is pretty long...HAHA! What I will do is show you what I am most thankful for this American Thanksgiving.



I am so thankful for Josh and Briella. They are gifts from God, and I most definitely prayed for them both as I was growing up. I know I have many other blessings to be thankful for: family, a home, friends, etc, but I just wanted to highlight these two guys! I love you both and thank God for you everyday!

so fine!

I haven't felt this attractive since I got pregnant! Why? Because this mama tried on her pre-pregnancy jeans AND zipped them up! Oh yeah baby! Are they tight? Yeah, but I can walk around in them and they don't give me massive muffintops...so in my books, they fit again! Will I wear them in public....maybe after I lose another 5-10 pounds! Just knowing that I can squeeze back into them has given me hope that maybe, just maybe, I'll get my weight under control. Victory for this mama!

How much is postage to Timbuktu?

Today is one of those days. One of the many days I imagine I will have as a mom. Today, I'd like to ship Bee off to Timbuktu. How could I feel this way about my baby? Let me tell you.

First it started with Briella not going to bed until 1am. Then she got up at 4 and wanted to play. It took half an hour of me going back to her room and laying her back down and giving her a bottle before she started to show signs of being sleepy. Then, at 6:30am she is ready to start her day. I get up, put a few toys in her crib and give her a new bottle, thinking MAYBE, just maybe she'll play for half an hour and let me sleep. Not a chance. She starts up immediately screaming and wailing away like I left her for good and she'll never see me again. She doesn't even give the bottle or toys a chance. Now, my first instinct was to just let her cry it out for a little as she is fairly dramatic (geez, I wonder where she gets that?), but our walls are pretty thin for an apartment and I didn't want our new neighbours to think I was hurting her. So I got up, plucked her out of her dreadful crib and put her in front of her toys in the living room, and sat on the couch, trying to wake up. Instead of her being happy, she was miserable. So I sat beside her, seeing if it was just me being near her that would make her happy. It did not. UGH. At this point I'm pissed. Then it dawns on me to change her diaper. Yeah, I know...rookie move lady. She's miserable and wiggly and I'm tired and groggy. Not a good combo for a very messy diaper, so there was that nice added element to my glorious morning. Now this amount of sleep I can normally deal with. But the night before I just couldn't sleep and that night resulted in a four hour rest instead of a night of rest. LAME. Both nights together is proving to be a bit much today.

Breakfast: the normal oatmeal and fruit. She spit her food out at me! This was the first time she's ever done this! I was so stunned. Luckily for both of us, even though I was thoroughly pissed, I was too tired to even make a deal of it. So I finished feeding her and let her play while I lay down on the couch and tried to calm down.

Suddenly I realize she's in the kitchen and very quiet. What did I find when I walked in? Briella, with opened dirty diapers and garbage surrounding her while she was reaching into the garbage bag for some more spoils of war. DISGUSTING! She got a bath pronto while I tried to not imagine how much of the junk got in her mouth. Luckily the bath tired her out and she went for a nap. I cleaned up the mess, and went to sleep as well.

An hour later I wake up, feeling much better about the day and seeing the humor in it. And then I start thinking and wondering, "how do moms do this with MULTIPLE children"??? Please veteran moms, impart your wisdom as I will need it all!

And to think, I once wanted 10 children. yeah right




picture cred:
http://www.nicephotomag.com/the-latest/weekend-inspiration-%E2%80%93-uniform

CribTime

Just some photos to show you the hilariousness Briella is. The first is her sucking on her glowy light and the second is of her using her crib as a teething ring. And as I'm writing this she is sleeping with her butt sticking straight in the air, and I'd take a picture to show you all but I don't want her to wake up. Ahhh, the joys of parenthood. We are so incredibly blessed with this little girl we call Bee.

just like a puppy, only cuter

This girl loves to be naked. And loves her bathtime! All day she had been crawling into the bathroom trying to climb into the tub so I figured a bath before bed would be a perfect way to end the day. She was so excited to see the water running and to be free of her clothes, that she did a little dance in front of the tub and promptly peed on the mat. I love my daughter!

dirty dishes or dirty diapers

Lately when Bee is in her crib and doesn't want to sleep she sucks on her glowy light that's attached to the top rail of her crib. She has to stand up to do this and just barely makes it. So last Friday when we put her down for a nap and we didn't hear the usual protestations Josh bet me that if we walked in she would be standing up sucking on the glowy light. Now I normally don't bet anything because I always seem to lose. The bet was: if he was right, then I had to change all poopy diapers for the next week. If he lost then he had to wash all the dishes for the next week. So I made the bet, and we walked in. She WAS standing, but NOT sucking on the light....SO I WON!

And since he has had to wash the dishes all week, my question is: Why is my kitchen still covered with dirty dishes?

California Folks

Now that we are finally living in a place where we can set up our computer, hopefully I'll update this more often! The last time I updated this, Bee was only 5 pounds. She is now 10 pounds heavier. I know, I know, only 10 pounds? you may be thinking. Although she is quite tiny for almost 9 months, she has no problem getting around and into things she's not supposed to be in. Like the toilet. Or pulling out half a box of diaper wipes. Or waving around Josh's underwear like a flag on Canada Day.

Also, we were still living in Montana, renting from our wonderful friends and landlords, the Millers. Now, the apartment was beautiful, seriously beautiful, but really only made to fit a couple or a single renter. Not a family of three with a ton of baby stuff. But the Millers were so kind to bless us with their cozy little apartment that it was very easy to ignore how crowded it really was with Bee's stuff. To give you an example of how small it was: Bee's room was our closet, and to make room for her swing and later exersaucer, we stored the barstools to the "table" and ate all our meals on the couch. We were just so happy that it didn't really matter until Bee started crawling. Then everything was within her reach and made for a long day of removing things from her sticky fingers. We were able to leave the place almost as we left it. Bee left her mark with a nice throw up stain on the wall.

Now, Josh has a fancy job working for the Department of Defense, where he does, in his own words, "nothing". He's dispatching for the Defense Logistics Agency in Tracy, CA, and we live in Ceres. Which is just outside of Modesto.

So far we like it here. God blessed us with leading us to our new apartment, which is the biggest place we've ever lived in (2 bed, 2 bath), and we live minutes away from the hwy and major shopping stores. The weather is so nice and our apartment is filled with natural light. Bee is loving the space she has to explore, although she's not adjusting to us not being in her line of sight all the time very well. The team that works here has been so nice to us. They saw that we had a baby and switched us to a different apartment that had brand new carpet and lino, "because its better for the baby" and in a better spot for laundry, the pool and the tot lot. We are looking forward to meeting our neighbours and exploring the surrounding areas. San Francisco is on the top of that list!