motivation

Today I woke up, stretched and immediately regretted that action.  OUCH!  Every muscle I worked out yesterday was screaming at me, and I wanted to curl in a ball and go back to sleep.  Except that curling in a ball was not an option since that hurt as well.  So I gingerly got out of bed, and started my day.  I asked Josh, who had done the same workout with me, if he was as sore as I was, and he just smiled.  Bee went down for her morning nap and I forced myself to finish our workout.  The next 20 minutes passed with me huffing and puffing my way through Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred, only occasionally swearing at both her and Josh (who laughed at me the entire time. OK, I swore a lot.  It's something I need to work on), and finally collapsed in a "graceful" heap at the end.  I felt triumphant at conquering my reluctance, but groaned knowing I had the same thing to look forward to tomorrow.   

I think I'm out of my mind.  But that's just the pain talking.  Really, I'm just overweight, out of shape, and now incredibly sore from finally kicking myself in the butt and working out.

Last week after a lovely meltdown about feeling fat,  I decided to finally do something about it.  All this past year we had talked about how we SHOULD exercise and SHOULD eat healthier foods.  We'd do well for a week, and then one day I'd be too tired/lazy/angry/not enough time to cook, and we'd buy a frozen pizza.  That would then, obviously, derail me from continuing on being healthy.  (Because, you can't have pizza without having some chocolate ice cream as well, right?)

I started up my myfitnesspal account again once we had settled here, and was slowly losing weight with calorie counting.  But I like faster results and being home all day, is honestly, a bad idea for me.  I see food, I want to eat it.  So to see better results I started walking a little, but that was boring and living in a ghetto neighbourhood is a fantastic excuse to not go for walks.  I am the Queen of finding excuses.  Need one?  Just ask me and I'll find one for you.

Finally, I went on amazon and started looking at fitness dvds, anything that focused on weight loss.  I found Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred.  It had great reviews and she's known for being a hard trainer, so I took a closer look.  Then I found out each workout was only 20 minutes long!  Surely I could commit to 20 minutes a day, I thought.  So I talked to Josh and he agreed to do it with me.  A friend of mine also has this dvd so we decided to do it together, since the more people I'm accountable to, the more likely I am to actually commit to the end.  So I have 2 people to be accountable to with this 30 Day Shred and another friend to be accountable to with calorie counting.  Hopefully I'll stick to it, wait...make that I AM GOING TO STICK WITH IT!

  

This is now day 2 of 30, and I'm ready to quit.  I know I won't, but I want to.  My whole body is sore after 2 measly 20 minute sessions.  I guess that means its working.  But in my mind it also shows how much I let myself go while pregnant, and its not a nice thing to think about.  

But I will finish this 30 day routine, even if it means that I'm extremely unladylike and curse out my trainer a lot more than necessary.  At least she can't hear me, since she seems like the kind of person who would get right back in my face, and really, I'm in no shape to beat her up, if it ever came to that.  Maybe that should be my motivation.  Get in shape enough that I could beat up Jillian Michaels, you know, just in case the situation should ever arise.