A letter

To My Son, Judah

I am amazed and overwhelmed by how much my heart swells for you.  I truly did not know it was possible to love another child as much as I love your sister.  You are such a gift and a blessing to us, and even though we are all still adjusting to being a family of four, I already cannot imagine life without you. 

I cannot imagine not being able to hold you, to rock you, or to be up at all hours of the night with you.  I love nursing you, to be able to "have to" hold you in my arms when you get hungry is a privilege.  It's a fantastic reason to sit down, relax and spend some one on one time with you. 

Your sister sure loves you.  I know this morning you probably thought differently when she tried to kick you, but please give her some grace, she's just learning how to be a big sister.  Also, I'm sorry to tell you this, but I'm pretty sure that won't be the last time she tries to kick you.  You are awfully good to her, letting her hold you, pat you on the head, and all those kisses!  She is always trying to kiss you!   

Now, I am your Mama, so I can guarantee you that I will be protective and perhaps a bit smothering.  Ok, a lot smothering.  Sometimes you'll have to tell me to let you go, to let you make mistakes and to let your knees get skinned.  When that time comes, please be gentle with me, as I'll still be picturing you as a sweet but fragile little baby.  I know your Dad will let you do all the crazy things a boy has to do at least once in a lifetime, and I might cringe and/or worry, but I'll always be there when you do need a snuggle or a kiss.  I'll even be there when you don't want one.  

I pray that you become a solid man of God.  That you will look up to your Dad, and respect him.  That you will look out for your sister, and treat all women with respect and honour.  I pray that you will not hold grudges, that you will be compassionate and understanding.  That you will stand up for the underdogs and less fortunate.  I pray that you will become a leader.  A man who knows he is loved for who he is, and who can love others for who they are.  I pray that you will live a good life, with all the twists and turns that make a good one.  I pray that your Dad and I can do our best to provide you with a wonderful childhood full of memories, lessons and lots of laughter.

But most of all, I pray that you will be happy. 

So please, don't grow up too fast little dude.